As though I were living in some kind of Twilight Zone episode I find myself thinking that I can actually hear each second tick off the clock as we move closer to Wednesday morning and Parker’s Right Heart Cath procedure. I wish I could be as strong as my sweet friend, Heather, who just underwent brain surgery to remove a tumor yesterday. Her posts of her faith in Christ simply inspires and challenges others to develop their faith as well. Now I’m not saying that I don’t have faith. I do. But mine is still more along the lines of a work in progress. It’s my faith that has kept me from giving up during the last couple of years. Unfortunately, by now one would think that my faith should be strong enough that I could totally allow myself to remove my will from God’s plan for Parker and his future. ‘Giving Parker up to God’ is how I think Heather would word it.
Sigh. I’m not even close. I’m trying. Really, I am. I’ll keep you updated on any progress. It is MUCH harder than it sounds. Much harder.
My Dad called last night asking what exactly was the benefit to Parker undergoing this Heart Cath. The biggest benefit, I thought, was letting us know exactly where his pulmonary pressures are. Knowing Parker’s pulmonary pressures would let us know if he was getting healthier, and if he could endure the rather invasive pull through procedure to make his ostomy bag no longer necessary. My Dad asked me if it was really important to me if Parker no longer needed that ostomy bag. Truthfully, an ostomy bag is no big deal at all. You can live a long an happy life even with an ostomy bag. I realized then that my goal should be getting Parker healthy……period. I’m no longer going to think of pull through surgeries until (Heavenly Father willing) Parker’s pulmonary pressures have either reversed themselves or are low enough and stable enough that Parker no longer needs the assistance of oxygen 24/7.
That makes the biggest benefit of Wednesday’s procedure the opportunity of knowing if Parker’s pressures are moving in the right direction, and if his meds are still working. It will also provide an opportunity to try out new meds while Parker is zonked out and see right then and there if they could have a positive effect on Parker’s PH.
Two years ago Parker had his first Right Heart Cath procedure. His pressures were 117. The cardiologist told us recently that nobody expected Parker to still be here today. With pressures like that one’s heart simply can’t last very long. Via echo cardiograms we know his pressures have come down quite a bit. After Wednesday we will know if they are still coming down, are maintaining, or are on the rise.
Our family will be fasting on Sunday in Parker’s behalf. Then after Church and in the evening after Brant’s Eagle Ceremony, Reed and my Dad will give Parker a blessing. Rigel is going to give a thought and a scripture and Bailey is going to sing. My other kids will be offering prayers.
We are still asking for prayers from our extended family and friends. Prayers that all will go well on Wednesday. Prayers that Parker’s cardiologist, Dr. Day, will find other options in treating Parker’s PH. Prayers that we will be granted the blessing of Parker’s pulmonary pressures being reversed to a level that would afford that this sweet soul could be granted many, many more years as a member of our family.
And in case you need a little reminder of who we are asking you to pray for, I offer you this:
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Im praying for Parker and your family.
There have been so many times when my faith has been tested in behalf of Lauren. I think I have enough faith and then life gets harder at times, even with all the joy that also comes with Ds. Trips to the temple have helped me understand that this is all part of the Lord’s plan, not my plan (although I like my plan and often argue fot it. Thank heavens the Lord is very patient with me. I am still learning to turn it all over to Him.)
I know Lauren was sent to us, not because we are fabulous parents and this is a great family, but because we needed her. She has taught us so much. When the time comes for her mitral valve replacement I know I’ll have to say “Thy will be done”. It is so hard to ask for what I want lately when I know I have to say that. How do I know that my will and the Lord’s will are the same? It all comes down to righteous desires. Your desires are righteous. Ask for all the help and strength you need. Please know that you are not the only one praying in Parker’s behalf and all of us are also praying for you and your husband as the parents.
Look how many lives you have affected thru this blog. It is a blessing for the rest of us.
God bless you, Parker and your sweet family. God has blessed and will continue to bless all of us with a family member who has Down syndrome.
My prayers continue for Parker and your family, espcially on Wednesday.
We are right here for you and your family. Maybe far away geographically, but we think of you guys a lot! Big hugs!
And thanks for the pic, but believe me, we won’t get our heads confused with your little bean, he is so cute!
Tammy I hope and pray all goes well with Parker on Wed. We will be thinking of him and praying for your family.
I can completely understand why you’re not there yet, Tammy. It must be the hardest thing in the world, to give your child totally up to God. I can see that it must be a LOT easier said than done and I don’t think anyone can hold that against you.
I’m praying for a good report on his pressures. The sweet photo of him just melts my heart. He’s so precious.
Tammy, I’m praying for Parker and great results. And, of course, your entire family remains in my prayers. Bless you as you fast and prepare.
And thank you for the Parky fix. ADORABLE!
I am praying. (hugs)
Parker and your entire family are in my prayers. He is such a cute, sweet little boy.
I hope Parker’s procedure goes well.
~prayers, hugs and good wishes~dale
Hang in there, Tammy. Your faith is stronger than you think. You’re strong and so is Parker. We’re confident that Wednesday will bring answers and we’ll be praying with you.
Praying non-stop for a safe procedure, for good news and promising treatments. But, most of all, I pray for peace of mind for you and your whole family.
(((((((HUGS)))))))
Praying of course. He’s so very, very cute.
sending lots of prayers your way. i wish i could lift some of your worries away. your faith will get you through it. hugs to you!
You know Parker is always in our prayers! Hoping and praying that Wednesday’s procedure brings good news!!!
Hugs to your cutie pie!!!
This was such a beautiful entry.
I will be in Salt Lake from Wend-Sat. I will pop in and see if I can find you-
435 695 3192
Prayers, indeed and I will call the temple.
Much, Much, Love,
Lisa M
Yes, prayers. Like you, my faith is a work in progress…but I will pray with all my (imperfect) abilities.
Praying for you, your family, and especially your precious little one.
You know you’ve got my prayers!
We are praying for sweet Parker.
I’ll keep sweet Parker in my prayers as well, I know how hard it is to give your child to God completely. It is heart wrenching, but once you do it is like a deep exhale. I pray that all goes like clockwork with Parker and that you are comforted during the waiting time & procedure.
blessings~
Annie