Estimates show that up to 90% of females with an intellectual disability and up to 50% of males will be sexually abused.
*gasp*
I truly didn’t realize the numbers were so high.
I also didn’t know that Ped*phile websites often mention children with intellectual disabilities as ‘good targets’ because of their willingness to please. (There’s a special place in hell……)
Okay. That was terrifically hard to type. And the thought makes me want to grab Parker and run far, far away.
Unfortunately, these are just a few of the hard cold facts that parents of children with intellectual disabilities have to face…and face NOW.
I’m going to share with you tactics for making our kids safer from those who might harbor the thought of preying on them. They aren’t easy to read. And considering that this is a family blog, some of them aren’t exactly G rated. But if sharing these tactics help keep even one kid safe, then it’s worth it.
1. Start early. Introduce correct terms for body parts. This way a they can report clearly if someone engages in sexual misbehavior.
2. Introduce body privacy. NO ONE is allowed to tickle or play around with the private parts of your body. To counter any attempts at or*l s*x include the mouth as a private body part. NO ONE is allowed to put anything part of their body into your mouth.
3. Make it clear that if someone breaks the rules about body privacy, YOU (the parent) need to know about it.
4. Teach your child to stand back and hold out their arms and say – in a BIG LOUD – voice and say, “NO! STOP THAT!” “IT’S NOT ALLOWED!” Practice saying NO! assertively.
5. Practice distinguishing secrets to keep and secrets that must be told. Children and adults with intellectual disabilities often think they can tell good secrets but have to keep bad secrets cause telling a bad secret might make someone feel bad.
6. As sex abuse is about power, work to empower your child with independence in dressing and toileting.
7. Develop and practice problem solving skills. Role play different situations and how your child should react in them.
8. Bear in mind that if your child lacks physical affection, approval and attention, they become more vulnerable to predators.
9. Develop social skills. Personal space. Eye to eye contact. Make sure your child knows their phone number and address.
10. Often children with special have already developed a passivity to adults, especially to caregivers and other professionals. Teach your child it is okay to stand up for themselves.
11. With non-verbal children consult a speech therapist for communication symbols for sexuality.
These aren’t my ideas. They are from another Mama who is working with Dr. Freda Briggs, a renown abuse prevention expert on strategies to keep our kids safe from predators. I have cleaned up a couple because my Mom reads my blog and I can just see her passing out after reading a few of these. (Hi Mom!)
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and hug Parker and make sure he knows just how much I love him. The images this post has put into my head are breaking my heart. It’s also instilling a deep determination to be more aware of any changes in Parker’s emotional behavior, which is also another thing to watch out for. Remember, sexual offenders can be found anywhere there are vulnerable people.
PS: All pics compliments of Google images.
PSS: On a happier note, did you see who won our AbleNet giveaway?
Twitter: bateminx
says:
This was incredibly difficult to read, and I can’t imagine how hard it was to write. The statistics are HORRIFYING. Un-freaking-believable. But I know they’re true. Do you mind if I re-post this? If I just copy-paste the facts and link back to you? Of course, I’m thinking of my own mother reading this, too. LOL
Becca recently posted..Objective Reporting
Becca….go ahead. Like I said the tactics aren’t mine. I received them from an email list I am on. Their creator asked everyone to share them. So…….share!
I’d add her name if I could find the email. I just took notes and created the post from those.
I did tone down a couple of things that while they did fit…..didn’t at the same time. And my Mom would have been forever scarred if she had read THOSE, lol!
I actually had no idea that 90% of girls with intellectual disabilities were at such risk. Terrifying.
Thank you so much for posting this. My husband and I have talked about this subject a lot in the past week, especially with regards to our son with Down syndrome. We really fear we don’t know how to make him understand how to protect himself. I will use these suggestions to get started. Terrifying statistics.
Deborah B recently posted..Vintage Poncho Wearing Sisters
Deborah…..you are so very welcome!
xoxo
Thank you for sharing. I sell Usborne Books and just found out last week that there was a group that worked with the Deafand/or Blind Community on what belongs to themselves. They used one of our series of books to drive this in in a fun way. It is the That’s Not My series. There are many in that series. That’s Not My Tractor, That’s Not My Monster, Puppy, Princess you get the idea. Anyways the book goes through several items that aren’t theirs and then at the end it says something that is theirs. They use it as a fun way to share things that are and aren’t theirs including their body is theirs not someone else’s. Since hearing that I have shared this with a niece/nephew that are in foster care with my sister so if they have to/ get to go back home they have an idea of what is and isn’t appropriate. If anyone is interested find your local Usborne Consultant. Sometimes you can even find these at the secondhand stores or your favorite garage sales. They are pretty sturdy books so they do make it to secondhand stores frequently.
I should have explained they are smaller books with a lot of touchy feely aspects to them. So they are also great with those tactile learners. USDB has several in their lending library if you live in Utah and have access to that. Public Libraries also carry them.
Twitter: LifeAfterIEPs
says:
Tammy, THANK YOU for having the courage to speak about this incredibly important, although painfully difficult, topic, It’s hard to face our fears, to bring them to the light. But we must – for our kids’ sake. There is power in facing our fears – and taking specific action step. THANK YOU!!!
http://special-needs.families.com/blog/teaching-children-relationship-boundaries Here’s a link to an article about using the “Circles” concept to teach kids about social boundaries. There is a (very expensive) curriculum by the same name via the James Stanfield company – which is excellent for schools or advocacy agencies. (I’m in no way connected with it). The linked post gives you an idea of the concept in a way parents can implement for free with kids at home.
Again, THANK you for bringing this incredibly important topic to your blog!
Mary recently posted..Personal preference portfolios for kids with limited communication