I had a meeting with Parker’s new OT today. An OT works with fine motor skills and feeding skills. If Parker were healthy enough to go to preschool he would get 30 minutes once of week of OT time. But since Parker is not healthy enough to go to school, the law states that he is entitled to that same amount of therapy here at home.
Enter new OT. New OT that promptly wants to be totally upfront with me and let me know what he is and isn’t willing to provide for Parker as far as services go.
Drat those pesky laws that very clearly outline what Parker is ENTITLED to! This OT is informing me of what Parker will and will not receive as per HIS say so.
Now I could bore you to tears with a transcript of our almost 2.5 hour meeting. But I’ll just put everything in a simple list from for your reading enjoyment:
OT does not feel a need to formally evaluate Parker. Based on a less than 3 minute previous phone call OT knows all he needs to about Parker and his needs. Damn! OT is pretty good, eh?
Based on this same phone call, OT feels that throwing out a handful of activities for Parker to be engaged in for the entire ONE YEAR LENGTH of his individualized educational program will be sufficient. OT will however allow me a QUARTERLY phone call of 30 minutes if I have any questions or need anymore activities thrown my way.
And if I happen to go over my alloted 30 minute time period OT will be gracious enough not to cut me off in mid sentence.
OT feels that it would be a waste of his time to come out and work one on one with Parker as he has no way of knowing if I will follow through on a daily basis. When I assure OT that Parker is still alive BECAUSE I am known to follow through on things, OT then responds that since I will be doing these things with Parker everyday that just proves how unnecessary it really is for OT to come to our home.
When I express total shock at the shotgun approach to teaching Parker and that I knew, for a fact that it was OT’s responsibility to lay out a step by step game plan with WRITTEN goals and objectives, OT conceeds to email me a few goals…..sometime.
OT will never once…..not once……need to be here to evaluate Parker’s progress in person. Any evaluations can and will be done over the phone.
OT believes that it is better for him to NEVER come out to our home as the less therapists that Parker sees the less chance Parker has of getting sick. I reassured OT that as long as he doesn’t come to our home with obvious signs of illness and washes his hands before working with Parker that Parker will, indeed, be fine. OT looks at me blankly as he changes the subject.
OT is not comfortable with working with Parker on ANY oral motor skills. Period. This includes issues with tongue placement, oral motor strength……..anything.
When I ask how children who have issues similar to Parker’s, yet are healthy enough to go to school, are taught oral motor skills, OT says that they are in a ‘controlled’ environment with a certified teacher and trained Para.
When I remind OT that I am a certified teacher and trained in trach cares, trach CPR etc., OT pretends deafness.
OT is not willing to bring any toys from any of his schools for Parker to use for therapy…….because OT is unwilling to clean toys for Parker’s use. When I explain to OT that I have plenty of Clorox wipes to clean stuff off with, OT totally ignores me and states that it is better for Parker to have his own stuff.
OT then hands me pages printed off of a website of items that OT is willing to endorse as being good for Parker to use. BUT, I am to understand that in NO way is OT telling me that I have to provide Parker with the therapy tools Parker needs…….even though OT has just informed me that he will in no way provide therapy items for Parker’s use.
After being told that what OT is putting on the table is unacceptable, OT says that he could, maybe come to my home and watch ME work with Parker if that makes me feel better. OT could give me more ideas of things to do.
OT then thinks for a moment and tells me that it wouldn’t make much sense for him to come all the way out to my house just to hand me a sheet of paper, so instead of coming to our house OT will just email me.
I point blank questioned OT on several things. Each time I got rationalizations more ridiculous than the last. In doing some research I discover this is a technique employed by said OT on many occasions. Most parents simply refuse to receive services from this guy and that is that.
I might not know squat about medical issues, but Education is our family business. Literally. From me, my Mom to Reed’s Dad, 2 brothers and a sister in law. And…..hello…..Reed is a PRINCIPAL thankyouverymuch. Education is what we do. I know the laws. I know what Parker is entitled to.
I can also identify a flaming idiot standing in my home as he tries to tell me that HE gets to set the services Parker receives.
Think about it. With a courage and grace beyond anything I could display this kid has fought for his life. He works ten times as hard to master a skill that for typical kids takes no more than a few tries to achieve success.
I have a cabinet that has two doors I have tied closed with a pieced of wide ribbon. Parker likes what is in that cabinet. Upon discovering that ribbon Parker sets to using his fingers and teeth to get the knot out. It took him 45 minutes, but he did it. And I let him make as big of a mess as he wanted. He earned it.
Why would I ever accept what this OT is willing to provide for Parker? He doesn’t get to pick and choose. There are laws to follow. This guy works for Parker.
Poor OT. He has absolutely no idea that he has mucked with the wrong Mommy. I kinda feel sorry for the guy.
Almost anyway.
BAM! I think that’s the sound of Parker FIRING that guy’s buttt. Now, where’s my flaming torch and pointy stick – I think it’s time to roast that OT!
(but I really wish that sometime, something could be easy schmeesy for Parker – you both deserve it)
Debbie (Binny’s Mom)
Twitter: livingingrace
says:
Stand firm, Tammy.
ughhh – I love this guy Tammy – NOT!!! Hope you get somewhere with his crap – sending you lots of luck with ASD – I wish I had better news for ya – but – hey I’m always willing to lend you an ear, or a shoulder!!!
Hugs!
Are you kidding me? Who does he think he is? God?
I’m so glad you know the laws. My son receives speech and OT, and there have been a few times I’ve had to remind various therapists that I happen to know the laws, but never anything as outrageous as this.
Make sure to keep us posted.
OT needs a new job.
And to not be paid for the time OT says he is ‘working’ with Parker, as I am sure the OT will put down that he is, for all of the allotted time.
OT is an @$$.
Sending you love, hugs, & prayers. Wish I could send you a new OT … a really worthwhile OT.
Go get him!
YOU GO GIRL! I’m so proud of your knowledge and courage! Let us know how it goes!
YES YES YES, you GOOO GIRL!!! YES!!! I am so proud that you stood up for yourself and that little man of yours, though not surprised, your one awesome mommy!
I wish it were easier, I have had to pull teeth for the services that Zachary gets, and so far it’s still not enough that I can see.
That is ludicrous. I hope the guy gets fired. Go for it Tammy!
Let him have it!
Merry Christmas!
Kay
Oh man, I want that guys address!!!! You are AWESOME Tammy! I just love you and that you stick up for your son!!! Parker deserves the best of everything with all he has been through. No way would that jerk be around my son! It is clear he doesnt know what he is doing!!! Just awful, he shouldnt have the job he has! You just keep being the strong wonderful mom you are and Parker will always be ahead of the game!!!
Love to all,
Amy
Wow – what a jerk! Why on earth is he even an OT it doesn’t sound like he wants to do anything. So glad that you can be such a great advocate for Parker!
I don’t feel sorry for him! Not one bit… actually, I want you to video tape your next meeting for our viewing entertainment… bleep it if necessary
Wow, I am baffled by this. How can he even consider himself an OT if he does absolutely nothing for the child. This is just terrible.
Thank goodness you are familiar with all the laws! Good job in standing up for yourself.
OT is in seriously wrong line of work. I’m sure you know this. You rock.
Hope he gets a stiff reprimand, if not a firing once you get finished reeming the superviser about this nasty OT, who is just plain scared of his inabilities. Like the first two woman said, “YOU GO GIRL!” Wish I could see the showdown! Parker is awesome! 45 minutes…that cracks me up! He is one determined little man, just like his mommy! You’ve taught him well!
Poor (lazy) guy- he’ll never even know what hit him.
What planet is this moron from? If you need a backup posse .. just give a shout. I hope he gets the rug pulled out from under him!
You go momma bear. Love you!
This sounds like some hairy shirtless sleeze ball talking over the phone with empty pizza boxes and empty cans strewn everywhere trying to convince you he’s just doing his job. Did he give you a big belch????
After all your little Parker has been through he does not DESERVE
OK i GOT REAL MAD THERE…
Parker does not DESERVE this sort of insulant treatment, we could all learn from and gain a lot of respect for children who truly truly do have exceedingly special needs. This little boy has more dignity and humility in his tiny little pinky than this so-called OT does in his entire being.
This loathsome creature needs to go apply at a fast food drive through, get himself something at his level of competence and let a truly caring professional do the OT work.
Godspeed to you and thank God above that Parker has you for his parents.
Ha! He is in SO MUCH TROUBLE!
What a moron. When I run into people like this or hear about them, I just have to wonder what the heck they were thinking on career day. Sheesh!
You’ve got to be kidding me! I’ve never heard of such nonesense! What is he even doing being an OT? Does he work with any children or have this attitude with everyone? And that bit about why bother cause he doesn’t know if you’ll follow thru? huh?! He doesn’t know if ANY parent will follow thru so why bother visiting any kids then? Geesh! I hope you don’t really have to work with this guy and can get another OT!
Yeah! Show him Parker’s mom in action!!
All right! You go, girl! I hope you give it to him with everything you’ve got and everything that Parker would give him if he was able! I’ll be praying that you are able to convey the message you want and that Parker will get a new OT – someone who really cares about the kids they are supposed to be helping care for.
In His Love and Blessings,
annb
No sorry, no sympathy, no “poor OT”. Good grief, I really wish I could be present for this round in the ring!
I have alot to say about this but none of it is appropriate for public viewing! I don’t feel sorry for him one bit. Like your job much? You go get him Sister!!
Oh and BTW hope you have a wonderful Christmas
How did you keep from punching the guy?! That’s a hard decision…do you refuse to work with him and ask for a different person, or MAKE him, by law, do his job. Hmmmm.
We were so very fortunate with our therapists but dr’s on the other hand… we travelled many hundred miles to find one who would listen to us. It paid off and Bria’ walking today because of it. (we needed a dr’s ok to brace her legs). Stick to your guns sister!
to Rachels comment I would have to say I’d refuse to work with him. He would perhaps do his job by law but I can’t make him be sweet to my child and our children deserve that. Just my own experiences and thoughts.
Oh…I.Do.Not.Feel.For.This.OT. He deserves all he is going to get from you. I anxiously await the follow-up post.
I’ve had therapists try to pull crap over on us regarding Wil. Yeah, we’re in education and physical fitness around here, too…this junk does not fly…get him, Tammy!!!
I felt so sick reading this. He sounds so lazy! Once upon a time when my oldest was just less than a year and requiring a vision therapist, a sub stepped in for a few weeks while the reg. vision therapist had a baby. The sub was rude and impatient, and she would say things like, “Oh I see this little guy woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” or, “Someone is in a bad mood.” Two visits and that was it. I called and had her replaced. It was so hard for me to do. But I wasn’t going to subject myself or my son to her.
So, good for you for standing your ground.
Haha Tammy you sound like me … my dh often says that I’m the wrong momma to mess with because I will fight back. I’m proud of you for knowing your rights and not taking the crap that guy dished out. I get so frustrated with these therapists and such that figure they can walk all over us and that we’ll just take it. Let us know how it goes!
I hear your frustration. I am an OT working in school based therapy; I also have a chronic health condition myself which requires intense daily management and which was acquired during childhood. In addition, professionally, as a therapist, I have had many experiences working both at home and school with a variety of children, teachers, and families. The law states that provision of services is an IEP team decision based on what the child needs to participate in and access his or her educational program. And yes, you and your family are an integral part of that IEP team. But no, no one gets to demand what services they or their child will and will not receive as a part of their education. This is an IEP TEAM DECISION…it must be discussed and processed with all members of the team. In the same way, a therapist can reccommend a level of services based on their understanding of the case and professional judgement (which IS sometimes based on past experience in addition to knowledge of the current situation/child’s status). And YES, there is a BIG difference between educationally based and clinically based therapy services. Educational therapists are, by law, expected to support a child’s participation in his or her education. NOT necessarily to rehabilitate the child, though as a therapist, one certainly seek improvements in a child’s functional skills as a means to see them more independent in the school/educational setting.
It is not honorable or my place to make judgements about another therapist’s professionality or clinical judgement, though I will say, after reading your chronology of the conversation, that I can definitely appreciate your confusion and frustration.
From following your blog in the past, I can see that Parker has developed, but of course will benefit from more attention and work. In terms of helping him develop new skills and refine his existing ones…what services he receives from the school as part of his education is a decision that, again, needs to be made by the team of folks involved with him, including yourself!
My only caution to you and others who have submitted comments on this blog is to remember to treat this man with grace, as is incumbent on us as believers in the Lord/followers of Christ. This DOES NOT mean to excuse shoddy behavior, but some of the comments I have read appear to be out of a space of EXTREME anger and frustration (which I can understand). Some of the comments seem to encourage you to ‘take this guy out’/'get him fired’ and all sorts of other pretty negative things. Please allow me to encourage you to present your concerns clearly and specifically without motives of getting this man fired or ‘getting even’. You are all parents of extremely courageous children and have all dedicated yourselves to daily battles that most of the world will never understand. I hear this; I myself have a chronic condition(from childhood) that will potentially shorten my lifespan and may prevent me from having children. I am wildly frustrated with this and I often get super angry with doctors and other health care professionals who do not appear to ‘understand’ or empathize with the time consuming medical management I encounter on a daily basis. However, this in no way give me an excuse to hate or long to see anyone’s demise or failure. It is up to God to teach lessons as needed and to provide guidance/correction to us all. Up to him to dole out mercy and grace along with correction. (And yes, I have had to fight to get some of what I needed to deal with my health concerns, so I hear that).
I just wanted to put my perspective out there. As a therapist, I am committed to helping children. I have dedicated my life to working with children who have either experienced significant develomental delays/probles, traumatic injuries, or life-changing illnesses. I love my work, but there are days I go home extremely discouraged, disheartened, and anxious after working with parents who seem angry with us as providers all of the time. I wish I could heal the children I work with or speed their progress, but sometimes it is not feasible or possible. I am sorry, deeply so, but I am not God, and I’m not able to heal like him. Though I recognize that you all are not getting angry without cause in this situation, I still wanted to give you a therapist’s perspective in general. PLEASE, PLEASE have compassion on your providers too; most of us are doing the best we can and in good faith trying all we can from our training/expertise with kids who have very serious issues. And often we find ourselves in situations where we have to be the ones to give bad news or just news that families don’t want to hear with regard to the prognosis for a child, amount of services reccommended, etc. No one commenting on this blog knows this man’s story, why he made the ‘rationalizations’/statements he did, or if there are system wide pressures, etc. he is facing as he does his job. Many school based therapist are not ‘lazy’, etc. but actually are hard workers who are typically underpaid and go largely unrecognized. Perhaps you assume correctly that he is incompetent and uncaring. Perhaps not. My only caution is for the commenters on this blog to temper your fighting/advocacy with grace. In my rush to get my own medical needs met, I am not to trample on others. When they are offensive, God calls me to keep loving them, even if I must do some strong truth telling or become an activitist for myself or my loved ones. Blessings to all of you as you advocate for and participate in your children’s healing. Thank you for taking the time to read one therapist’s perspective.
Respectfully,
A school-based occuapational therapist