A friend of mine, a smart, politically active Mama of many kids with special needs (both by birth and adoption) felt the claws of ignorance yesterday on her Facebook page.
This Mama, who is looking at running for local office, was accused of having adopted kids with special needs and now was not only leaving them to run for public office, but had (gasp!) also been receiving government money to help care for these children.
My friend sweetly explained the reality of her situation, including the fact that she had never received any money for any of her kids with special needs either adopted or born to her.  She also explained that she had the backing of her husband and family as she tested the waters of running for office.
This Mama to 24, totally supports the Medicaid that kids with medical issues and special needs receive. While she’s totally against the waste, fraud and abuse of the general Medicaid system, she knows that Medicaid received by kids like Parker has remained stable over the years, and itsn’t the reason of the budget breaking issues we are having today.
What really struck me though, is the accuser’s thinking that if a parent adopted a child with special needs, mental illness, or medical issues they should be chastised for accepting any support from the state in this child’s care.
In other words, that child should be left in the care of the government and denied the opportunity to experience the love of a forever home, before you accept government assistance when adopting him.
A little heads up to my friend’s accuser. It costs the government MUCH more for a child to be institutionalized.  A family adopting a child out of the system, even with the Medicaid, costs the government substantially less.
But according to my friend’s accuser, by accepting that Medicaid, you lose your right to call yourself a Patriot.
While I have no problems not being a member of this particular club of Patriots, I do find it impossible to understand letting a kid rot within the system, rather than supporting the family adopting, AND the Medicaid that would come with the child entering that home.
Those who choose (from their nice, warm homes) to make their sanctimoniuous stand on the backs of children should lose their right to call themselves a human being.
Hmmm… sounds like the ‘accuser’ was on the panel that cut my adopted (gasp) special need kid’s medicaid off when we finalized the adoption last May
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Kristen,
Had you been told the Medicaid would follow your child? Are you in Utah?
Hmmmm! Methinks the “accuser” is in for a rude awakening if they ever get ill. Guess what?!!? Many of the same rules apply for people in nursing homes. Maybe his family can have a bake sale to pay for his Depends…….just sayin’
;P
Steph
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I know, Steph. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
Amen! It continues to amaze me that people don’t realize where medicaid is really being abused! How many people sit on their butts and do nothing, because the know the government will pay their housing, food, and health care. Many people get this assistance for years and years! When you adopt, you have to prove you have private insurance before you adopt. But we both know that some kids one insurance just doesn’t cut it! Our multi-million dollar babies!
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Lacey, many times if a family adopts a child with special needs out of the foster system, the state will allow Medicaid to follow that child to their new home.
A few months ago there was an article in the paper about families who had adopted kids with special needs in this state, and then when the state rescinded that Medicaid and those families had to return the kids back to the system because they simply couldn’t afford their medical care.
Your right Tammy, if you adopt through the foster system you do get medicaid and also social security for the child as well. Our first baby that we wanted was in the foster system.
Lacey and Jax recently posted..A pick-me-up
Hi Tammy,
Your comments about the necessity of assistance for families of kids with special needs is right on.
On another topic, I just posted a blog entry related to what you wrote about the Special Needs Underground. You can check it out at: http://www.differentdream.com/2011/01/what-is-the-special-needs-underground-2/
Praying for Parker,
Jolene
Thanks, Jolene! I’ll go and take a look!
I think you know how I would respond to the accuser. In fact, give the person my contact information. I would like to invite them over for dinner and a little ‘chat’!
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Twitter: nehimomma
says:
I am of the opinion Tammy that these ignorant folk…just really think that disabled children shouldn’t exist. Should be hidden, kept in the basement, put back into institutions…that way society doesn’t have to deal with them…and he/she doesn’t have to look at them.
I too have had convo’s…even with a couple of family members…that are so ignorant and in denial about the situation…when I tell them…a + B = C (aka Children with severe mental issues in the foster care system get adopted…they keep medicaid. State of Utah cuts the medicaid. Child is returned as the parent doesn’t have $4000 a month to pay for there mental health needs..and there regular insurance doesn’t cover it) they some how insist that the parent should some how be mighty mouse and be able to find the money tree with $4000 a month. They don’t want to know the results of there decisions. It makes them look like a fool…so they shove there head in the sand and ignore the actual consequence to the actual decision that is made.
Penny Wise Pound foolish.
I still have people that don’t believe me about kids with mental health issues being returned to the system after the adopted child’s Medicaid was revoked.
I guess these parents should have held monthy BBQs, eh? I mean January is such a grand time for grilling hot dogs.
I sent my comment privately so as not to offend anyone with what I think of the “Patriot”.
I got it!
sometimes you really just have to ignore certain people
receiving assistance for a child with special needs should never be put in the same category as “taking advantage” of a system. Generally, most people who are receiving medicaid are NOT taking advantage of the system…and certainly someone who is ADOPTING children specifically with special needs is not attempting to take advantage of anyone! I am MORE than happy to pay taxes to assist with the care of a child with special needs…to feel this is somehow taking advantage of the system is RIDICULOUS! As humans, it is our RESPONSIBILITY to care for those who can not care for themselves!
Pam,
Not only do I wish you lived in Utah, I wish you could replace a certain Legislator by the name of…..well, I need to be nice. He’s not our local Legislative Rep., but another.
If it were just one whack a doodle here and there, that would be one thing. But you’d be amazed at how many share this accuser’s beliefs. I’d say it is pretty prevalent in the party of red out here.
Their solution is to tell you to host a BBQ. erg.
It’s kinda scary.
LOL- I’m not sure I would make a good legislator…but it doesn’t sound like the one you are talking about it so great at the job! I agree, BBQ’s are great for raising EXTRA money…not the money you actually NEED on a day to day basis!
Twitter: nehimomma
says:
Tammy I can just see it now.
**Please keep our mentally disturbed adopted son from killing his siblings. We need to raise $4000 a month for his psychiatric medication, doctor appointments and therapy. Having a BBQ to raise the funds…come at 6 pm**
I realize the world would love for these children to just go away…but they do not.
I am saddened that people can be so ignorant. They will never understand unless they are faced with the hardship that they have judged. Most people have to care for a child with special needs or be around it to wrap their heads around what it truly means. They don’t see the amount of the bills, the insurance claim problems etc. They don’t see the lack of sleep, or the emotional rollercoaster. Or the love that surrounds the whole experience, hardship and all. I was able to throw myself into volunteering to understand the school system, and the love I personally recieved from it was abundant. Not suprisingly many of the school volunteers and special needs teachers have special needs children. I guess this “accuser” would have criticize me for having “free” preschool for my special needs daughter as others paid for it (a few years back), but would not see the countless hours I put in as the PTA President. Does this person think people are making money off of Medicare with Special Needs Angels?
Hateful people are not worth your energy. Though I don’t know your friend, I would remind her of this, and to continue to expand her wings as she must have a huge heart to help so many children, and consider running for public office. I learned the hard way a couple of years ago that some people will argue endlessly with the intention of hurting and abusing others…grown up bullys. They do not want to see your point of view, they want to win, and make you small. I was given the advise that when a grown up throws a tantrum to ignore them. I should have followed the advise better…I let it get to me and defended myself. Although everyone supported me, I LET it get to me. So now, once I identify these individuals I do not even comment on the hate they spew…ignore the tantrum and they get bored and look for something else to fight over.
Good luck to all of you, and God Bless your Angels!
Ignorance never rests. I think it’s not a coincidence that NPR just recently ran a story about how *some* parents now put their kids/ keep their kids on medication because medication= diagnoses and diagnoses= disability payment. I honestly feel this is an extreme minority of parents (ie bad apples), but I believe pieces like this in the media incite the radicals, who then falsely extrapolate their ideas to everyone. It’s truly a bad pattern in our society right now.